Confidence

The old Children’s Minister at my church back home loves to tell the story of how I, when I was maybe five or six or seven, say down by a tree outside the church and just cried. When she came and asked what’s wrong, I said, “I’m just having a bad day.”

When I was in third or fourth grade, one of the boys on the playground at church told me that girls couldn’t make boys cry, so I punched him. He cried.

From fifth grade on, whenever I finished an EOG early, which was every time I was tested, I would use the extra sheet of paper to design a one-page “magazine”. I think it was typically about aliens, because I had one good alien doodle and I based everything around that.

In 7th grade, I wrote and directed a short film about the symptoms of the Plague. On VHS.

In 9th grade, I took a copy of Plato in my purse when we went to Universal Studios. I got separated from my group about halfway through the day and spent the rest of the time drinking root beer floats and reading.

Senior year of high school, we were in the state Beta Club quiz bowl tournament and we won, thanks in part to a question about 18th century architecture popular under King George I. The other team answered "Neoclassical." I buzzed in with a sarcastic "Georgian" and was tempted to fist bump my team when it was right. 

I took 13 years of ballet lessons. 

I can play flute, french horn, piano, guitar, ukulele, and penny whistle. 

I lived off of $12 and leftover frozen food for a month. 

In college, I audited an 8am particle physics class because even though I didn’t need the class, I wanted to learn the material. 

I've travelled to more than 25 states and 10 countries.

I planned an event that was attended by thousands of people. 

I've performed in front of thousands of people. 

I drove a moving truck to and through New York City. I've also driven in DC and LA, so I've earned the City Driving scout badge. 

I changed all the locks on my last place by myself. I've also replaced both my headlights and tail lights on my own, changed oil in a truck, rotated my tires, and changed tires. I've repotted plants, assembled countless pieces of furniture, cleaned all the carpets in my residence, and I can bake a mean squash casserole. 

I took the LSAT. 

So someone explain to me why it took heels and a pantsuit for me to be treated like an adult, like the smart, strong, confident, and capable woman that I am? I'd say I'm just curious but I'm really just tired.