Allowed

You are allowed to take a break. You are a human, not a robot, and you require food and sleep and friends and the chance for your imagination to dance. Do not begrudge yourself these things. 

You are allowed to break down. You are a human, not Atlas, or gravity. The Earth will not spin off its course if you stop doing everything you're doing when your body and mind force their priority on you. The roaring river of life will continue its journey to the sea regardless of whether it carries you along with it. It is better to lay gasping on the shore than to drown. 

Please don't drown.

You are allowed to get people to help you. You are allowed to let people help you. You are a human, not some fictive perpetual motion machine. No, listen to me, dearheart. You do not have to do this by yourself. You cannot do this by yourself. You have spent all these years regretting every kindness given to you because each shows anew the lie of your self-sufficiency, but let me tell you, with the abundance of love that I have in my heart, that lie is killing you. Yes, I know that everyone will one day leave. Yes, I know that everyone will at some point let you down. Yes, I know, you have to be responsible for yourself. All of these things are true, but hear me: your life cannot be lived alone. It is too much to bear. It is too much to bear and you are surrounded by others who are willing and able to help you bear it. They are gifts. They are grace. Let them help you. Let them love you. 

You are allowed to love. 

You are allowed to love. 

You are allowed to love. 

It is not some mistaken emotion produced by an unbridled limbic system. It is not an unconcerned and unprincipled appeal to sentimentality. It is not some basic evolutionary or tribal urge that should be understood and transcended. It is none of the things that you worry it is. It is not weakness, it is not distractibility, it is not misplaced longing, it is not a waste. Love is how people care for each other, and we bear a great burden of care for one another. Love is how people watch after one another, and we are called to be each other's keepers. Love is how we carry each other along. Love is how we share with one another. Love is how we survive. No, more than that, more than survival. Love is life abundant. Love is what we are promised, what we are made for. 

Please, dearheart, remember always that you are allowed to love. You are allowed to love and be loved. Every good thing grows out of this. Give yourself permission to love.