Hello!
Please find attached my next two chapters for feedback. Apologies for missing the deadline. I'd tell you that I was waiting on another book from interlibrary loan or that my computer mysteriously crashed or that the analysis of the second thinker reflected so seriously on what I had written on the first thinker that I had to completely rework those three thousand words to more directly parallel these. All of those things are true, but honestly, they're not the reason that these chapters are a little behind schedule.
The reason I didn't finish them on Friday night was that there was a military coup in Turkey and I spent the hours I could have spent working on my citations following the news as it unfolded on Al Jazeera and Twitter. Some early analysis suggested that this might not be so bad of a thing in the long run but the news still captivated me. Then a dear friend let me know that her brother was in Istanbul and I couldn't step away from the updates, hoping that nothing on the streets got too violent.
The reason I didn't finish them during the day on Friday was the terrorist attack in Nice. Luckily no one I knew was harmed or had any friends or family in harm's way, but it was frightening this time around, like the Paris attacks but more real, somehow. It's finally clicked for me that moving to a country (for now) in the European Union means that I will know someone who's hurt when these events happen in Europe. I am tied to this place in a way that I could not have been before. My heart aches and panics and pulls my brain down with it until all I can do is scroll and distract myself with... well, whatever's around, honestly.
I didn't finish the second chapter on Thursday because work from Wednesday had piled up. And because I was busy reading about Donald Trump's choice for Vice President and any and all articles discussing the possibility of a brokered RNC convention, plus a think piece or two on Hilary and Bernie for good measure.
Work from Wednesday had piled up because I was still dealing with the emotional baggage from Tuesday. That one's on me. Also, I went to go see the new Ghostbusters and let me tell you, it was worth it. In a perfect world, it would have been a worthwhile study break, but I don't need to tell you how wrong Leibniz was with that whole "best of all possible worlds" thing.
I was actually really productive on Tuesday. I blocked Twitter and Facebook all day long and got things done. Plus, the events that led to me signing a lease on Friday were coming to a head, so there was a lot of running up and down stairs and scanning things and printing... In a nutshell, there was a variety of matters that claimed my attention this week and some of them involved my life after this dissertation. I think entropy is the real party at fault here.
Monday I wrote. I didn't write about awe and wonder and Sagan and Eddington like I was supposed to, but I spent some time thinking about what it means to be a person in this world and what we have to do if we're going to survive together here. My dissertation has nothing to do with political or practical theology, I know, but I do, and so I had to think through this. I breathe this air, this atmosphere that we've slowly poisoned, and my heart has trouble living here. Leaning into my pain just felt so much more important than whatever else I was supposed to be doing. I did take like twenty pages worth of notes before I gave up and started writing, though, and how was I supposed to know there was going to be a terrorist attack and a military coup on top of the slew of British and American political news that occupied my time? Plus, new carpet and couches in the reception area! You can't expect me to move forward without processing that!
I could trace this back further, cite another incident in America that brought the Black Lives Matter movement back to the fore and then the attacks in Dallas that reminded us how complex our pain is, or that time that I saw the Queen, or how I felt the need to listen to the whole Hamilton soundtrack at least twice because there will never again be a performance with the original broadway cast together and that bittersweetness reminded me of the temporary nature of everything in this life, or how I'm still reeling from the Brexit fallout and (selfishly) the literally hundreds of dollars I lost when the pound tanked.
I know there's a way to talk about all of this without patting myself on the back for being so internationally focused, like my obsession with the news is a good and helpful thing. I know you can get work done and still care for others. There's just a lot here to deal with, on top of moving to a new city, on top of the emotional whirlwind of the last year, on top of the crushing realization that I have like three weeks to "find myself," if that's what I came over here to do. Listen, I'm just as uncomfortable with all of these narratives as you are.
Anyway, all this to say I'm sorry this is a little behind schedule. I hope the day or two you had to wait doesn't impact the feedback time too terribly and I should have the last chapter, along with the introduction and conclusion along to you shortly. Really working through this project has given me plenty of insight about how our world has changed over the past century and it's been an interesting lens to hold up against our view of our fellow human. Hopefully what I submit will reflect that.
As always, thanks so much for your support and I look forward to receiving your feedback!
Best wishes,
Jo
No comments:
Post a Comment