People, you see, are the level worst. There’s nothing worse than people. You might say bear attacks or shark attacks or asteroids headed towards Paris, but I’m going to stick with humans. Humans are just unkind. There’s nothing else to it. Humans are malicious. We are so malicious, in fact, that we project our own maliciousness onto non-sentient creatures and inanimate objects. We are hateful pieces of consciousness and we seem to actually delight in putting other humans down.
None of this is to even allude to the actual horrors that humans enact every single day in places that we prefer not to think about. No, I’m not even going to mention genocide or torture or systematic abuse. This post, all this is just because of your garden-variety, everyday unkindness. Making fun of people who are different. Withholding forgiveness. Preying on other people’s insecurities. Manipulating others in a difficult position. Disrespecting other people’s religious practices. Pretending that wealth and disposable income makes you more than what you are. Changing lanes without using a turn signal. It’s not hard to list off the ways we make each other miserable on a quotidian scale.
To put it colloquially, you jerks make life miserable. Humans are a metric ton of uselessness and feces, filled to the brim with a spirit of cowardice, a collection of good-for-nothing sons of salacious women who don’t give a crap about anything but themselves, self-important losers whose only contribution to the universe will be the inevitable day when they self-destruct, leaving nothing but their disintegrating atoms floating in the atmosphere, leaving a thin film of disgustingness that can only be washed away by a century of perpetual torrential rain. Asshats.
I’m not alone in my misanthropy, so I’d like to use my other favorite thing, the internet, to corroborate my point of view.
I don't read no papers, and I don't listen to radios either. I know the world's been shaved by a drunken barber, and I don't have to read it.
-The Colonel, Meet John Doe
People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.”
-Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.”
-Mark Twain
“In the depths of my heart I can’t help being convinced that my dear fellow-men, with a few exceptions, are worthless.”
-Sigmund Freud, Letters of Sigmund Freud, 1873-1939
[I]f their Citizens should not be completely free and happy, the fault will be entirely their own.”
-George Washington, Writings
“I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.”
-Bill Hicks
“You call me a misanthrope because I avoid society. You err; I love society. Yet in order not to hate people, I must avoid their company.”
-Caspar David Friedrich
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
-Macbeth, Macbeth
And of course, the crown jewel of human-hating, this reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/misanthropy/comments/3fpxuy/what_event_going_on_in_the_world_right_now_makes/
For more theorizing that humans were the monsters all along, or just some good scares in your day, enjoy this week's Internet Find of the Week, Lore.
And for something that makes you feel like maybe everything isn't all that bad, enjoy this, one of my favorite Postmodern Jukebox covers:
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